My New Life

Welcome to my blog. I decided to start this to get some of my thoughts out of my head. I want to record some of the events of the day here for reflection later and to get your input if you’d like to comment. So, here we go…

About two and a half weeks ago, I found myself in a deep abyss. It was a very dark and bleak looking horizon. I felt as far away from God, Spirit or a Higher Power as I could possibly be. I was kicked out of a business, asked to leave where I lived, and told that I would be killed, as in beaten up or a gun put to my head if I ever returned. With all of my earthly belongings in my small pickup truck, including my freaked out cat, Mary, we left that situation behind and drove away with no destination in site.

Stunned and in a state of shock, I drove to a nearby church where I felt safe. After speed dialing everyone I knew with only a few bars of signal and battery strength left on my phone, I finally was able to find a couch to spend the night on. That night, a thought came to me as to what I could do to help myself if I could become courageous enough to take the first step. Actually, there was not much courage involved. This was my last resort.

The next day, on Monday June 8 2009, I went to a twelve step Alcoholics Antonymous noon meeting and decided to pick up my Desire Chip. I decided to try again. Although my story also involves drugs and smoking cigarettes, and this was my third time to come into “The Program,” I figured that I really had nothing to lose and no where else to go. The only ones who would take me in and accept me for what I am were a bunch of recovering and recovered drunks. What the hell.

Its been two and a half weeks, and I am so much better now. On that day I stopped drinking, drugging, and even smoking cigarettes. Maybe it is not the wisest thing to stop all three at once, but lately I have not really been the wisest on guys…just an insignificant wise guy at best. So far, so good I am able to report in all categories.

I totally understand the spiritual concept of anonymity, and I will always leave what I hear and see in those rooms in those rooms. For me, It is time for me to connect with others and to share my experiences. Probably no one will read this anyway, so there will probably be no one I will possibly be able to offend with my thoughts and words here in this blog. Its an ego thing, you know. I just now need to get some of these things down in writing and see if anyone else might get me, have experienced similar things, likes it, hates it, and can maybe even connect with others who join me on my path. We shall see.